The First One

Several years ago I tried blogging for a few weeks to keep all of our sweet friends and family updated on our adoption. As time progressed, not much with our process has and the rules became more strict on what could share, etc.  so I quit. I've realized over the past few years that I really enjoy writing and I've found myself wishing I had kept a journal so here's to a new year and trying new things.  My goal is write one post each day. I'm making it public because we do have so many friends and family members who might wanna keep up with us, our adoption and Asher Bean. I'm pretty much just gonna share what's on my mind. To any potential readers out there, good luck with that 😉.

And while I'm at it I'm just gonna dive right into the deep end. So here goes. 2016 was a particularly hard year for me. Throughout the year I've experienced more anxiety and stress than I ever have before. I've always been able to "roll with it" no matter what "it" is and this year I completely lost that ability. I've been in a constant state of worry and I've never been a worrier. Honestly, I'm not sure I can put it into words how mentally and emotionally draining this year has been. We went through and are still going through  so much transition in our lives.Eric and I both started new jobs, I went back to work full time and Asher started going to HLC full time. He loves going to school and I'm so thankful. God has seriously blessed us with the most easy going child.  He's my little ray of sunshine and I don't think I could've made it through this year without him. We started updating our adoption paperwork and due to various factors, it's almost like starting from the beginning.  Worry. Stress. Anxiety. Depression. Mommy guilt. Lots of other emotions I didn't even know existed. I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

Every day I sing "You are my Sunshine" to Asher Bean. Usually, he tells me he's not my Sunshine,  he's his Daddy's, or Nonnie's. He loves to think he's making you jealous. This is where the title of my blog came from. As I've been reflecting over the past year, I've been trying to think of ways that I can make this 2017 better than 2016. Through this reflection I've realized that my anxiety and excessive stress is not something that is just a part of life. I've been in some deep spiritual warfare this year and didn't even recognize it.

A few days ago as I was singing that sweet little song to Asher, I was reminded of how precious he is to me. In that moment, I decided that 2017 is going to be a year of focusing on just how much God has blessed me. My life verse is 1 Thessalonians 5:24, "He who called you is faithful and He will do it". These words are as true today as they ever were. God as been so faithful to me. I have no reason to doubt him.

Satan is a liar and he whispers to me every day. But this year, I'm not listening. I'm going to fill my life and my mind with the blessings and promises of God. Sunshine and rainbows.

This song has helped me put things into perspective over the past couple of months and it's my prayer for next year.  Take time to read the lyrics.  I hope it encourages you as well.

Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

Chorus
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
It is well

So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name

So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.

Blessings,
Christen